


In Your Wildest Dreams

by lovesrainscent



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Love, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-03-18
Packaged: 2017-11-02 01:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesrainscent/pseuds/lovesrainscent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jiraiya and Tsunade share an evening together with some fun and unexpected results. Involves a mind-altering substance, ramen, chocolate, a game of Truth or Dare, calligraphy, coffee and a fair amount of humorous fluffy smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Your Wildest Dreams

**Title: In Your Wildest Dreams**

**Pairing: Jiraiya/Tsunade**

**Rating:Explicit**

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Naruto or any of the characters mentioned here._

**Summary:** Jiraiya and Tsunade share an evening together with some fun and unexpected results. Involves a mind-altering substance, ramen, chocolate, a game of Truth or Dare, calligraphy, coffee and a fair amount of humorous fluffy smut. 

**In Your Wildest Dreams**

Tsunade looked forlornly around her at the enormous mountains of paperwork that covered her desk. What on earth had she ever been thinking when she accepted the position of Hokage? She sighed and began to busy herself, trying to complete a few more reports before the weekend. Just as she had begun the tedious job of reviewing grain production summaries, she felt the little hairs along the back of her neck prickle. She had the distinct sense of being watched. She sighed again, “Come on in Jiraiya, I know you’re there.”

Jiraiya laughed heartily from the balcony and entered, settling himself in a chair close to her desk.

“Don’t you ever, like, use a door?” Tsunade grumbled. She kept her gaze down, intently trying to focus on the charts and data in front of her.

“Tsunade, where’s the challenge in that? I never know what I might find this way. I might stumble on some really useful information and besides,” he added with a sly note, “someday I may catch you when you’re up to something fun.”

Tsunade put her pen down and motioned at the stacks of paper on her desk. “This is all you’re ever going to catch me up to these days,” she said with her voice full of remorse.

“I never have time for anything fun any more.” She paused and looked over at her friend, her eyes brightening, happy to have his company even though she would never admit it to him. “So, why are you so cheerful today? A good day peeping? Cashed a porn royalty check? What’s up?”

Jiraiya leaned back, put his hands behind his head, smiled broadly and said, “Nothing! Hime, absolutely nothing! I’m in town and I’ve got the whole weekend free.” He grinned at her, “I finished the last mission that slave driver of a boss I work for sent me on, here’s the report.” He fished a scroll from within his tunic and waved it at her.

Tsunade, who had allowed herself to brighten even more at his affectionate use of his childhood nickname for her, frowned slightly as she saw the proffered report. She reached to take it and he jerked it away from her, tucking it back inside the folds of his tunic.

His grin broadened to wicked proportions. He motioned her close to him and whispered in a conspiratorial tone, “I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m not gonna hand it in until after the weekend.”

“Jiraiya,” she whined, then motioning at the forbidding pile on the desk in front of her added, “might as well turn it in with all the rest.”

“No. No way. Not until Monday. Come on, Tsunade, let’s do something fun together,” he wheedled.

“Jiraiya! Give it to me.”

“No. Of course, you can come and get it if you like.” He patted his chest where the scroll was safely tucked behind his tunic.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. Just then they were interrupted by a slight tapping at the door. “Come in,” Tsunade said wearily.

Shizune opened the door, ushering two shinobi into the office. “Lady Tsunade, Shikamaru and Kiba have returned from their mission to the Land of Rain. They’re here to deliver their report.”

Tsunade closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, not another damned report. She was surely going to drown in a sea of paper. She sighed, “Let’s have it.”

Shikamaru looked at her with concern. “Is this not a good time, Lady Hokage? We thought you’d want to know as soon as we returned.”

The problem with sending fine young shinobi on missions was that you had to make it seem important. In reality the two of them had been on a fairly routine trade negotiation. Shikamaru had probably long since figured that out, but looking at Kiba he seemed eager, anxious and excited to be delivering their report to her. Come to think of it, Kiba always seemed eager, anxious and excited but this afternoon even more so.

“No, no, this is fine,” she tried to sound encouraging. She heard Jiraiya snicker beside her and made a mental note to make him pay for that later. Kiba launched into the details of their trip while Shikamaru was looking as bored as she felt. Tsunade made a valiant effort to absorb Kiba’s energetic presentation but after the third time she caught herself stifling a yawn she had to admit she was wasting their time as well as hers.

“Kiba, Shikamaru, you’ve done an excellent job,” she said, rising from her desk. “I’ll need some time to study the financial aspects of this, though, before we obligate the village. Do you think you can have a written summary for me on Monday?”

“Already done, Lady Hokage,” Kiba said, producing a scroll containing their results. He handed it to her. Tsunade took it gingerly from him as if it might bite her. Terrific, another one to read this weekend. “Yes, well, thank you both. I’ll have Shizune send for you if I have any questions.”

As Shikamaru and Kiba left, Shizune appeared and asked, “Will you be needing me for anything else this evening, Lady Tsunade?”

“No, Shizune, thank you. Have a nice weekend. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Good-bye then, my Lady. Good-bye Jiraiya-sama.” Shizune closed the door behind her and the two friends were left alone once again.

Tsunade sat down, holding Kiba’s scroll in her hand. Jiraiya looked at her and said, “Look at yourself, Tsunade, you’re a wreck. You never have any fun. When was the last time you did anything other than come to this office, eat lunch at your desk and go home in the evening? At least have dinner with me.”

“Jiraiya, I just can’t. You see how much I have to do. I’d love to, believe me I would. But I’m just overwhelmed right now. And stressed like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I know a great little stress reliever, Tsunade-kun,” he leaned closer to her.

“Jiraiya!”

“Hey, I was talking about the hot springs. But if you had something else in mind… well, that would be fine by me to.”

She made a half-hearted slap at him, enjoying his banter. It was wonderful to have him around, just his presence made her job bearable. She sat back down and began to open the scroll Kiba had handed her. A small leather pouch fell out onto her desk with a soft ‘thump.’ She looked at it curiously, picking it up and turning it over in her hand. A small amount of dried plant material spilled out of the top.

“Jiraiya? What’s this?” she asked curiously.

Jiraiya leaned closer and took the bag from her hand. He opened it up and sniffed. “Where did you say they’d been?”

“On a trade negotiations meeting to the Land of Rain. Why?”

Jiraiya chucked the small bag back on her desk and leaned back in his chair, one arm draped casually over the back of it. “Well, at least on a personal level it looks like their mission was a success.”

“What are you saying?”

“Oh, come on, Tsunade. The Land of Rain? What’s their greatest export?”

“You mean… you mean…?” she spluttered.

“Looks like those two just left you their weed.”

The silence between the two of them was deafening, then, “I’ll kill them,” she said, starting to rise from her chair. Jiraiya placed a hand on her wrist and urged her to sit back down.

“Now, Hime, settle down.”

“Really, I’m going to kill them. They were on a mission and…”

“And there’s absolutely no evidence they ever smoked any while on that mission. It’s just a…, a…, a souvenir from the Land of Rain. Every shinobi brings it back when they go there. They’re off duty now and I’m sure that’s what they intended it for. They’re good boys, Tsunade. Everybody does it.”

“They do not!”

“They do and they did and they always have and you know it.” He chuckled again enjoying her discomfiture.

“They do not.” She repeated it as if saying it would make it true.

“I did.”

“Don’t say anymore.”

“Orochimaru did,” Jiraiya was reminiscing fondly now. “And you did, too, Hime, more than once if I remember correctly.”

Tsunade was completely quiet, her finger poking distractedly at the small bag in front of her, toying with it the way a cat does a mouse. “I did, didn’t?” she finally said, looking up at him with a lopsided grin. “God, that was a long time ago. A long, long time ago.”

“A really long time ago,” Jiraiya agreed. A companionable silence fell between the two of them, but it quickly turned to an uncomfortable silence as the bag sat stubbornly on the desk in front of them.

“Er, ah, would you like me to return it to them?” Jiraiya finally asked.

“You can’t.” she answered. “I can’t let them know that I … that I … that I approve of this. If you return it, they’ll know you got it from my office and they’ll know that you know and that I know and, well, I just can’t have that.”

With resolve she picked up the bag and turned to throw it in the trash can. Jiraiya stopped her hand. “Don’t be hasty, Hiime, maybe they haven’t discovered their mistake yet. Maybe I can sneak it to them and they’ll never even know it was gone.”

Tsunade shook her head. “Jiraiya, when you and I were that age, how long after a mission did it take us to light up on the weekend?”

“Well, you’ve got a point, there,” he acknowledged. He stopped her hand again as she turned once more toward the trash can. “What, you’re not just going to throw it away, are you?”

She laid the bag back down on her desk. “Well, what are you suggesting, I do with it then?” The question hung unanswered in the air. She poked the pouch with one red lacquered fingernail.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I smoked?” she asked. Another question that Jiraiya let go unanswered, he merely cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to answer herself.

She gave a half-hearted little laugh. “I mean, I don’t even have papers, a clip. Nothing.”

“Well, I think I can help you, there.” Jiraiya said matter-of-factly. She looked in stunned amazement as he pulled an assortment of paraphernalia from his pockets.

She shook her head in admiration. “You are one prepared hermit, you know that Pervy Sage?”

“At your service,” he answered, deftly rolling a joint and handing it to her.

Tsunade hesitated, then reached out and took it from him. “I really shouldn’t,” she said meekly, looking at him as if asking permission. “Should I?”

“Come on, Tsunade, you’re a medical ninja. You know it’s the perfect solution. Great stress reliever and you won’t even have to worry about a hangover tomorrow morning.”

He lit a match and held it out to her.

She was laughing as she put the joint to her lips. Her fingers shook as she giggled and she passed it back to him. “You’ll have to light it, I can’t even draw right now.”

Jiraiya rolled his eyes, took it from her, held the match to it and inhaled deeply. He held the smoke then exhaled with satisfaction through his nostrils. “Not bad,” he handed the lit joint back to Tsunade, “not bad. Your turn.”

Tsunade took it and puffed on it once or twice. Jiraiya leaned forward to take it back from her. “Sheesh, Tsunade, inhale, don’t just puff it, you’re wasting it!” He took another long draw on the cigarette before passing it back once again to her.

Tsunade forced herself to inhale deeply this time and immediately started coughing. The smoke was harsher than she remembered. “It’s…it’s… been awhile,” she rasped out hoarsely.

Jiraiya chuckled and took another hit as she passed it back to him once again. They passed it between the two of them, enjoying the smoke and each other’s company. After a while Tsunade rose, giggling and went to open a window. “You think Shizune will smell anything Monday morning?”

“Well, we could always go buy some incense and burn it.” Jiraiya acknowledged.

For some reason Tsunade found this inordinately funny. She gave a hoarse laugh and wandered over to the small sofa on the other side of her office and flopped down. She was still laughing hysterically when Jiraiya left his chair and came to join her.

“Why are you laughing?” he asked as he began chuckling himself.

“This,” she motioned around the room, waving her hand lazily. “Me, you, this. It’s just too funny, don’t you think? That I would sneak out and buy incense to keep my assistant from knowing what we did.”

Her laugh was infectious. He joined her and the two dissolved into hysterical sobs, leaning against each other and laughing until their sides hurt. “Oh, oh, if Shizune could see me now,” Tsunade said then added as soberly as she could. “She’s too uptight, you know.”

Jiraiya took a long drag on the joint and looked up at the ceiling, blowing smoke rings. Tsunade stared at them agog, marveling that she’d never been able to do that. “I think you’re both too uptight,” he said.

Tsunade didn’t answer, she was intently focused on watching his smoke rings spiral into the ceiling. “I wish I could do that,” she said breathlessly.

He yawned and stretched and smiled goofily at her. “It’s all in the tongue, Hime.”

“Pervert,” she muttered back at him. She leaned back against one arm of the sofa and kicking her shoes off, she put her feet in his lap. She sighed contentedly. “I remember when we used to do this… a lot.” She added wistfully, “Me. You. Orochimaru.”

Jiraiya looked at her, after all these years she was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Her eyes were closed, her lips full and tempting. He leaned forward and she stopped him by raising one foot to his chest. “Don’t even think about it,” she giggled.

“Tsunade, I’m offended. How could you think I’d try to take advantage of you?”

“Hmmm…maybe because I’ve known you all my life.?”

“I was NOT trying to kiss you.” He flicked the ashes off the joint and held it up. “Shotgun?”

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Not trying to steal a kiss, hmmmm?”

“On my honor,” he whispered.

“Perverts have no honor, do they?” she teased. But sitting up somewhat she leaned her face closer to his. “All right.”

He turned the joint around, placing the lit end in his own mouth. They leaned together, mouths touching. Tsunade closed her lips around the other end and he blew, strong and steady. Jiraiya’s breath and the smoke filled her lungs. She was overwhelmed by the nearness of him, his warmth, his scent, and the overall feeling of euphoria from the smoke. She pulled her face away and took the joint from his lips.

She draped her arms on his shoulders and leaned her head against his chest. She was lulled by his heartbeat. It may not have been sex but it was a oneness she had shared with no other in her life. Not a teammate. Not a lover. Only Jiraiya. He was the one who had taught her and she could never imagine sharing this with anyone else but him. There was something almost sacred about sharing breath with him. She twirled his hair lazily in her fingers and felt him kiss the top of her head as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Tsunade was at peace with the universe.

She flicked the ashes of the joint herself and looked up at him. “Return the favor?” she asked.

He nodded. She rose on her knees on the cushions of the couch, her head above his. She placed the lit end in her mouth and lowered her face to his. His lips brushed hers as he took the end. She held his shoulders and she exhaled deeply into him. His hands were warm at her waist.

She pulled back and took the joint, holding it to the side. She gazed deeply into his eyes, they held a dreamy expression of their own. Tsunade felt a familiar tingle of desire. She giggled, as did he. She wondered if he felt it, too, that same old familiar feeling from so long ago.

“Jiraiya,” she whispered huskily, burying her face in his hair, her breath warm in his ear.

“Jiraiya, do you want…”

“Yes, Hime?” he mumbled back at her. He knew her so well, knew where she was going with this and loved her even more because she was so predictable. She was always the same, every time she got high with him. It was comforting to know that just like the stars in the heavens their relationship was unchanged after all this time.

“I’m mean, I’m just so…” she searched for the words to adequately convey her feelings at the moment.

“Filled with desire?” he asked hopefully.

“No, that’s not it exactly…,” she held her face close to his cheek and whispered, every word a kiss in its own right. “I’m just so hungry,” she moaned. “Do you think that ramen shop Naruto’s always talking about is still open?”

 

**_A/N:_** The title is from the Moody Blues song of the same name.


	2. Just The Two Of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stoned, Jiraiya and Tsunade venture through Konoha late at night on a quest for ramen.

**Chapter 2: Just the Two of Us**

“I want those little swirly things in the ramin, Jiraiya,” she wheedled as they walked along the streets of Konoha, desperately trying to remember where that dratted ramen shop was. They had already passed a couple of other shops but Tsunade had insisted that they go to Naruto’s favorite, Ichi-wha-cha-ma-call-it or something like that. Jiraiya was having a hard time remembering the name…

He may have been having difficulty remembering the name of the place they were heading toward, but all in all he was having a helluva fun time tonight. He had managed to convince Tsunade to stay in her office and smoke one more joint with him before they went out on Mission: Noodle Acquisition! - the name Tsunade had assigned to their quest. She’d actually gone so far as to draft up an official mission dossier and add it to the stack for Shizune to file for her on Monday.

Watching her draft the report had brought back many fond memories for Jiraiya. She lay on the floor, propped up on her elbows with the blank scroll unfurled in front of her. Her legs were bent at the knees, ankles crossed demurely. She wrote furiously, every once in a while licking the tip of the brush to achieve a finer point. Oh, how he envied the brush tip!

From the couch he had a fantastic view of her cleavage. Yep, fond memories, Jiraiya thought contentedly to himself as he blew more smoke rings skyward. Come to think of it, most of their papers that they had turned in for class over the years had been written in this fashion, she and Orochimaru doing the work and him stoned on the couch. He always felt that he contributed in terms of emotional support and a steady supply of weed. It was a good team effort that way.

When she had finished, Tsunade stood up and proudly handed him the scroll while she took the joint from him. As he read it she was smoking and rummaging through her desk. She produced a seal and took the scroll from him and stamped it. “There,” she had told him, “Now it’s official.”

“What’s official?”

“You’re on a mission, a C-ranked mission to locate this mythical ramen shop.”

“A C-ranked mission?! Tsunade, that’s insulting, do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been assigned a C-rank mission?”

“Hey, budgets are tight, it’s the best I can do,” she shrugged as she handed the joint back to him.

He studied the scroll in detail. “I think you put too many ‘oodles’ in Noodle,” he said solemnly handing the scroll back to her.

She rolled it up deftly and responded with a dismissive wave of her hand, “I wanted it to be noodlier – it sounds more important that way.”

“But why even make it a mission in the first place, can’t we just go eat?”

“Jiraiya, I’m the Hokage, if I can’t abuse my position of power for my friends, then what good am I? Besides, at least this way you’ll get paid.”

“I’d rather get laid,” he grumbled.

“That would be an S-ranked mission,” she replied with a laugh and a raised eyebrow that dared him, just dared him, to try it.

Jiraiya had shaken his head, old memories indeed, as he followed her out the door.

And now here the two of them were, lost in the middle of their own hometown, wandering in their quest for the perfect bowl of ramen when Tsunade had a sudden realization. She clutched Jiraiya’s forearm and gasped his name. “Jiraiya!”

“What is it, Hime?” he asked with concern.

“Jiraiya!” Oh! The implications of the answer to this question were too awesome, too mind-blowing to even consider. But she had to ask. She HAD to know. “Jiraiya,” she demanded, “do those little swirly things in the noodles swirl clockwise or counter-clockwise?”

Jiraiya stopped dead in his tracks. Oh! My! God! He had never thought about it before.

He started to answer, “Well, um….I suppose….” He tried to picture in his minds eye just what did those little swirly things look like? And what were they anyway? And of course the answer to that question was of cosmic significance. And he couldn’t really tell which direction they went because they kept swirling.

Tsunade looked at her friend and nodded knowingly. “See what I mean?” She whispered in awe.

Fortunately they were spared the weight of answering that question as a group of young people approached them strolling down the same street. Shikamaru, Shino and a very dejected looking Kiba were sauntering toward them. Shino was speaking very calmly and very evenly, “So let me get this straight, Kiba left it where?” Kiba hung his head in shame, he had been a very bad boy.

“Yeah, in the scroll he left in the Hokage’s office. What a drag.” Shikamaru stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked on. “We didn’t have to have that report in until Monday, but did Mr. Eager Beaver here, think about that? Nope – he just handed it over to her, including our stash for the entire weekend.”

“Maybe she hasn’t found it yet,” Kiba ventured. “Maybe we could sneak into her office and see?”

“Man, you are not honestly suggesting we break into the Hokage’s office are you?” He stopped dead in his tracks as he heard his name called.

“Shikamaru, Shikamaru, look Jiraiya, it’s Shikamaru!” Tsunade was calling and waving to him. “Shikamaru, Kiba, come on over here, we’ve got something important to ask you.”

“We are so dead,” Shikamaru hissed at Kiba under his breath. The three cautiously approached the two sannin.

“Yes, ma’am?” Shikamaru asked warily.

Tsunade crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. Shikamaru had to admit to himself that his dad was right. She was the most beautiful and powerful woman ever. And she could stop traffic dead in its tracks if she took a breath like that again. Oh, well, he thought miserably to himself, if you’ve got to get your ass chewed, it might just as well be by someone who looked like her.

“Shikamaru,” she asked as seriously as she could muster, “We were wondering, do any of you boys know if those little swirly things in the ramen go clockwise or counter-clockwise?”

The three boys were stunned. Was this some kind of a test by their Hokage? She didn’t look mad. Maybe she hadn’t found their stash after all. Shikamaru’s eyes narrowed to slits. Something wasn’t adding up here.

Behind him Kiba cleared his throat and spoke up, hoping to at least redeem himself with his friends somewhat, “Well, um, Lady Hokage, I think, perhaps, er, perhaps it depends if you are looking at it from the inside of the spiral outward or the edge of the spiral inward.”

Tsunade stiffened. “Shit!” she said loudly.

The three boys froze. They were dead, so very, very dead.

Tsunade turned to Jiraiya, “Shit, pervy sage, did you hear what he said?”

Jiraiya nodded solemnly.

“Shit!” she repeated, then added for emphasis, “Fuck!” It started with a giggle in the back of her throat which turned into a snort that lead up to a full blown raucous horse-laugh. Jiraiya joined her. Tsunade was bent almost double with laughter, “Shit, Jiraiya, why didn’t we think of that!”

Realization was starting to dawn on Shikamaru.

Tsunade was wiping tears from her eyes. “Okay, whew, thanks guys. That one had us stumped. Okay, one more question, do you know where….what’s it called Jiraiya?” She waved her hands impatiently.

“Itchy-cock-a-doodle," Jiraiya pronounced as if it were of profound importance.

“Right, do you know where Itchy-cock-a-doodle is? We can’t find it anywhere.”

The three boys looked at each other in bewilderment. Finally Kiba summoned up enough courage to ask, “Ma’am, what’s Itchy-cock-a-doodle?”

“You know, that noodle shop Naruto’s always talking about.”

“Oh, that one. It’s called Ichiraku Ramen and you need to go down to the end of this street, turn left, cross three streets and go down one block. But I think they’re closing soon.” Kiba said helpfully.

Tsunade and Jiraiya looked at each other in panic. “We’ve got to go guys, thanks for your help,” Jiraiya called over his shoulder as he grabbed Tsunade’s hand and they raced toward Itchy-cock-a-doodle’s before closing time.

Kiba looked after the vanishing pair. “What …just… happened?” he asked.

“Man, don’t you get it?” Shikamaru asked them. Shino nodded affirmatively, he was sure he understood what was going on now. Kiba shook his head ‘no.’

“Man, they’re stoned. On our weed!” Shikamaru shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. “Man, what a drag.”

 ** _A/N:_** Chapter title is from the song by Bill Withers


	3. You Might Think I'm Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Failing to find ramen, our two intrepid sannin at least manage to score some chocolate.

**Chapter 3: You Might Think I'm Crazy**

Hand in hand Jiraiya and Tsunade ran breathlessly up to the ramen shop only to discover to their utter dismay that it was closed. “Jiraiiiiiiiya,” Tsunade whined, “how are we going to get ramen now?”

“Hold on, Hime, I’m thinking,” he responded, wondering why in the world the half dozen ramen shops they had already passed that were still open were not good enough for her. Just then his thoughts and her whining were interrupted by Ichiraku Ramen’s last customer of the evening exiting, holding a small paper sack in his hand.

“Jiraiya,” Tsunade asked in a loud stage whisper, poking him in the ribs with one finger. “Look, what’s he got? Is it take-out?”

Jiraiya studied the young man exiting the shop – Aka-beechi was it? Akaseechee? Something like that, he thought. Chouji Akamichi however had no problems recognizing his Hokage or Jiraiya.

“Good evening, Lady Hokage, Jiraiya-sama,” he greeted them.

Tsunade returned the greeting then put a hand over her mouth to shoot Jiraiya another stage whisper “Find out what he’s got in the bag.”

Jiraiya shook his head slightly – the things he did for her.”So, um, Chouji, is it? Got some take out ramen I see?” he asked, wondering just how lame that sounded.

“This?” Chouji asked, raising the bag. “No, it’s not ramen.”

“Oh, err, ah…,” Jiraiya stammered.

“It’s dessert,” Chouji added. By now, his three friends, Kiba, Shikamaru and Shino, with whom he was supposed to meet up that evening were approaching the shop looking for him.

“Hey guys, over here,” he announced, waving the hand holding the bag over his head to show them he was still at the shop. The three young shinobi hesitated when they saw Jiraiya and Tsunade, then crossed the street to join their friend.

Tsunade, hearing the word ‘dessert’, poked Jiraiya again. “Pssssst, ask him what kind of dessert it is,” she demanded.

Jiraiya sighed, “So, um, Chouji, what, um, dessert is it?” He heard Tsunade giggle behind him. He desperately fought back his own giggle. Keep calm, act sober, be mature he told himself.

“It’s a chocolate gold-leaf roll,” Chouji answered smugly. “IchiRaku’s has the best.”

Tsunade let out a little whimper. Inwardly, Jiraiya groaned, he knew where this was headed. By this time, Shikamaru and the others had joined Chouji. “Jiraiya, I want that chocolate roll,” she hissed. “Get it for me.”

Jiraiya inhaled a deep breath. “So, Chouji, the Hokage and I were on our way to Ichiraku’s but it seems like we’ve missed closing time. I know she’d appreciate it if you’d let us at least have a dessert from the best ramen shop in Konoha. Name your price.”

Chouji clutched the bag possessively. He was just about to answer in the negative when Shikamaru leaned over and whispered something to him. Chouji glared at Kiba. Kiba hung his head.

Shikamaru was telling Chouji something else but the heavyset young man just shook his head ‘no.’ At last, he reluctantly handed the paper bag over to Shikamaru, shooting one more scathing glance at Kiba. Shikamaru cleared his throat and said, “Maybe I could talk to you in private Jiraiya-sama?” In the background, Jiraiya heard Chouji hiss under his breath at Kiba, ‘you are so dead puppy-boy.’

\- - - - - - - - - -

Jiraiya and Tsunade flitted effortlessly through back streets and dark alleys of Konoha. When Jiraiya had asked here where to next, she had just laughed and said ‘follow me.’ They were approaching a familiar fence. He shook his head and said to her, “You have got to be kidding.”

Tsunade had already scaled the fence of Area 44 and was on the other side, once again daring him. “Race you to the tower.”

Jiraiya shrugged, scaled the fence as easily as she had and tore off through the forest after her.

From the shadows, Shikamaru and his friends stepped out and looked at each other, none of them daring to say what was on each of their minds. They hadn’t actually been following the sannin, they’d just been looking for a quiet spot to get high together. They certainly had originally had no intention of heading out into the forest. Now, however, a seemingly once-in-a-lifetime opportunity was presenting itself. Their Hokage and another bona-fide, certified Hero-with-a-capital-H of the village were stoned, suffering a severe attack of the munchies and headed out into a secluded spot together. The quartet was just young enough, just stoned enough, and just stupid enough to contemplate following them.

Finally, a soft quiet voice spoke up. “You know, I’ve been working with Anko to utilize some beetles in order to upgrade and rerun some of the cabling for the audio and video systems in the tower. The control room is in a new location and right now I believe that Anko and I are the only ones who know the new location….,” his voice trailed off.

There was a lengthy silence then Shikamaru spoke up, “Let’s go.”

The four young shinobi scaled the fence as quickly and quietly as they could.

\- - - - - - -

Tsunade and Jiraiya reached the tower at almost exactly the same time. Laughing, clutching each other for support they made their way to the old control room. They quietly surveyed the room, overcome with waves of nostaglia, then flopped down on their respective ends of the sofa as they had done years before. Jiraiya reached into a pocket and rolled another joint for them and lit it, then passed it to Tsunade. Tsunade took a quick drag but then hastily handed it back to him, more eager for the chocolate at this point. She unwrapped it, took a bite from the end and closed her eyes in bliss.

"Oh, oh, that's good," she said, smiling and offering it to him. She licked the chocolate from her fingertips and then asked him, "So what did this cost you?"

"Don't worry about it, " Jiraiya mumbled through the chocolate, returning the roll to her.

"Seriously, Jiraiya, how much did you have to pay Chouji for this?"

"I didn't pay him anything, don't worry about it." Jiraiya took another drag from the joint then they swapped cigarette and chocolate again.

Tsunade inhaled deeply and savored the smoke and chocolate in her mouth. She tried to blow a smoke ring, but all she got was a sort of dimpled blob. She pouted.

"Come on, Jiraiya, I know that Akamichi kid, it must have cost you something."

Jiraiya leaned back against the arm at his end of the couch. "Well, let's just say it didn't cost me any money."

Tsunade thought for a minute. "Jiraiya, you didn't sell them their own weed back, did you?"

He chuckled. "Nah, I swapped 'em some from my own stash."

 ** _A/N:_** The title for this chapter is from the song "You Might Think" by The Cars


	4. Truth Or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the game is played. Questions are asked and answers given, both humorous and painfully honest.

**Chapter 4: Truth or Dare**

“You know,” Tsunade said dreamily, “I remember that time Orochimaru ran my bra up the flagpole on this tower.”

“Yea, uh, Hime, after all this time, I guess you should know that that was me.” Jiraiya laughed and responded to her.

“No shit?” she asked, hitting the joint again. “Jiraiya, I kicked his ass for that.”

Jiraiya turned to face her on the couch. She was half sprawled down into her own little corner of the sofa. He leaned back against the arm on his end and put his feet up in her lap this time. “Yeah, that was a good time Tsunade, a very good time. I was scared to death you were going to find out and come after me.”

“How come Orochimaru never ratted you out?”

“Well, first of all, you’d worked up such a head of steam you probably wouldn’t have listened, and second of all, he was a pretty good friend to me back then. I think he wished he had been the one who thought of it, didn’t mind getting blamed for it.”

“What about that time we set the video in the rooms in the tower to trip on whenever somebody entered the room…” She was starting to titter, the laugh welling up in her throat.

Jiraiya finished her sentence for her, “Yeah, and we caught Sarutobi-sensei in here on tape with his girlfriend. Talk about your educational videos.”

Tsunade was about to roll off the couch she was laughing so hard. “And we had the bright idea we’d blackmail him with the tapes…”

“Yeah, but he just kicked all three of our asses.”

“I think Orochimaru was scarred for life after seeing those tapes.” She had meant for it to come out as a humorous statement, but her voice trailed off as she finished her sentence.

She and Jiraiya sat quietly on the couch, realizing that the slender young man with straight black hair who had been their friend for years, dammit, was gone and he was never coming back to them.

Tsunade cleared her throat and spoke, “Shizune, um, Shizune said that when I had gone to meet Orochimaru you were going to…”

Jiraiya met her gaze levelly, “That if you joined him I was going to kill you with my own hands?” Tsunade nodded. Jiraiya took a very long drag off the joint, held the smoke and thought carefully before answering. “I would have, but then I would have lain right down beside you and died myself because I’d killed my best friend.”

“Jiraiya, I…I was…you don’t know how close I was…” she couldn’t complete the thought.

“You don’t have to say anything more about it, Hime,”

\- - - - - - - - - -

In the new control room, Chouji, Shikamaru, Kiba and Shino were by now pleasantly high themselves. However, they were rapidly becoming bored. Although, at the mention of the Sarutobi videos, they were grateful that Shino and his beetles had not yet gotten the video cables run, just in case. But from the audio they were picking up, the conversation between the sannin was turning definitely maudlin and boring. Chouji was grousing about missing out on his dessert and even Shino was starting to feel the beginning pangs of muchiness set in.

There was general disagreement between the four friends as to whether they should stay for whatever entertainment value they could derive by continuing to spy on their Hokage, or they could go look for a snack somewhere. Chouji was about to win the argument in favor of going to look for some food when circumstances changed. The conversation on which they were eavesdropping took a decidedly more provocative turn.

\- - - - - - - -

“Come on, Tsunade, this is melancholy and depressing. I wanted to get you out for something fun tonight.”

Tsunade roused herself from her introspective reverie. “You wanted to get me out and try to get me into bed tonight,” she answered crisply.

“Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying, can you?”

“Jiraiya, you’ve been trying for years now. When are you ever going to….”

“Give up?” he arched an eyebrow at her. “But that’s just it, Tsunade, that’s not my ninja way. Don’t you know?” He straightened out, put his feet on the floor and leaned toward her, one hand on the back of the couch at her shoulder, the other hand tipping her chin up to him. He hovered over her, his white hair hanging down, brushing her shoulders. “I’m Jiraiya, I never give up.” He dipped his face to hers…

“Yeah, right,” she said pushing him up off her and sitting up. “Come on, let’s do something.”

“Tsunade, I was suggesting something…”

“Besides that.”

He sat back up and looked at her. “Well, we’re already stoned. I’m guessing you don’t want to go get drunk now because you won’t want a hangover. We can’t get ramen and we’ve already eaten dessert. And you don’t want sex. So, princess, what do you suggest?”

“Truth or dare?” Tsunade asked.

“You have got to be kidding me.” He rolled his eyes, then he got a sly look, “Okay… okay, we’ll play Truth or Dare.”

“But the dare can’t be ‘sleep with Jiraiya.’ “ She said quickly, flicking the ashes off the cigarette and passing the remants to him.

“No fair adding rules after I agree to play.” he grumbled, finishing the joint. “Oh, okay.”

“Truth or dare?” Tsunade asked, starting the game. Unknown to the two sannin, in the new control room, four young ninja were following their game with interest.

“Truth”

“Who stole all the bath towels from the women’s pool at the hot springs that time, you or Orochimaru?”

“Tame, Hime, tame and lame. I did.”

“Okay, you do better.”

He thought for a minute then came up with an idea. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Tsunade was taking no chances with what he might come up with for a dare.

“Did you ever do Shizune?” 

In a distant room, four young shinobi listened eagerly for the answer to a question that quite frankly, none of them had ever considered before but now they really were quite interested in, since he mentioned it.

“WHAT?!” Tsunade nearly choked.

“Not an answer, Hime. Did you ever do Shizune?”

“Jiraiya! No, of course not. What do you think?”

He shrugged. “Just…wondering.”

Her eyes narrowed to slits. How dare he! Her turn.”Truth of dare,” she demanded.

“Truth.”

“What about you and Minato – ever ‘do’ him? Or… Naruto?” she added.

\- - - - - - - - - -

The boys in the remote room were wide eyed, stifling giggles. Did they really want to hear the answer to this question? Honestly, just what had Naruto been up to with the old guy for the last couple of years now anyway?

Kiba started to laugh first, Shikamaru waved his hand to shush him. He didn’t want to miss hearing any of this. Shino was thankful that he always wore his dark sunglasses. Even at night. Even inside.

\- - - - - - - - - -

“Hmmmm…I think that counts as two questions. But I’ll anwer them both – that would be no. And no. I’m sure it’s fine for some people, but I never could get the mechanics figured out.” Then he added. “My turn, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Do you ever think about doing Shizune?”

“Jiraiya! No! What is it with you and Shizune?”

“Jealous?” he asked in a joking tone looking at her out of corner of his eye.

“What? No. It’s just that… I mean it’s fine but…She can make her own decisions but…And if you like her, then that’s…okay… It’s fine… really…”

Jiraiya was laughing soundly now. “Well, I’m sure of one thing, Tsunade, if you haven’t thought about doing Shizune before, you can’t help but think of it now.”

“That is NOT true!”

“Sure it is, Tsunade, you’re thinking about it right now. Imagine, you’re both medical ninjas, you both know so much about chakra points and erogenous zones…the mind wobbles.”

“Stop it! It’s my turn now!” She thought about her next question. “Okay, not Naruto, not Minato but did you ever take advantage of a student/teacher relationship? Ever teach more than ninjutsu to someone that you were assigned to be their sensei?”

“Errr, clarification please, sensei” he raised his hand as if asking a question in class, “Do you mean anyone for whom I have ever been a teacher in the past, or while I was actively assigned as an instructor to that person?”

“Active! I don’t have all night. I can’t imagine how long that other list would be.”

Jiraiya’s smile was broad, “Oh, yea. Once.”

“Well, who was it?”

“Ah, ah, ah, Tsunade, I already answered your question, truthfully. Yes I did. Once.”

“Jiraiiiiiya,” she wheedled. “Who was it?”

Jiraiya looked her in the eye and answered her directly, “Tsume.”

“Tsume! Inuzuka!?” Tsunade’s eyes were round, her mouth open wide in amazement.

“Yep. And I gotta tell ya, Hime,” he smiled and stretched, lacing the fingers of his hands together behind his neck and leaning back, “there’s nothing that a man likes better than to hear that he’s doing it right.”

“Tsume?”

“Yeah. There was a whole lot of howling going on.” He started singing “I-wish-they-all-could-be-Inuzuka-giiiiiiirls...”

\- - - - - - - - - -

Kiba sat frozen with a horrified expression on his face. That….just….hadn’t….happened. It was not possible for him to have heard what he just now heard.

Oh. God.

Shikamaru and Chouji were curled up into fetal positions, struggling desperately not to laugh out loud. Shino was…well, you never could really tell what Shino was thinking. Kiba was glad that at least his teammate still had his sunglasses on.

The off-key strains of “Inuzuka Girls” would haunt Kiba until his dying days.

\- - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, back down on the couch, Tsunade sat with a confused look on her face. “Jiraiya, when were you ever sensei to Tsume?”

“Hmmm…, oh, yeah, I guess it was after you left. I was in and out of the village then. I had a few squads here and there, specialty short-term training. Mostly espionage and stealth techniques. She was on one of my squads then. Why?”

“Oh, it’s just that when I asked, I meant, you know, a direct student… “ Tsunade was blushing furiously.

“Tsunade! You mean an Academy student?”

“Well, not that young, of course not!”

“But still you mean as in young …?”

She nodded weakly.

“How young?”

“Never mind.”

“Oh, no, you don’t, you’re not getting out of this one, Tsunade, game’s still on Truth or Dare, who was it and how old was he? “

\- - - - - - -

Back in the new control room, the bets were on. Chouji picked Kakashi and inwardly Kiba was inclined to agree with him but he hadn’t yet been able to utter a word. Shino had his money on Iruka Sensei, but Shikamaru was going with Kotetsu. The four innocents were of course too young, too stoned and too stupid to consider that Tsunade hadn’t even been in the village since the named suspects were out of preschool.

\- - - - - - - - -

Tsunade whispered a name.

“Speak up, Hime, I can’t hear you.” Jiraiya leaned closer.

“Nara,” she whispered again. “Nara Shikaku.”

“The one who always brought you the antlers? Damn, if I’d known that’s all it took, I would have been picking up antlers every time I went into the forest.”

Tsunade punched him in the arm. “It wasn’t like that.”

“How old was he?”

“Sixteen.”

Jiraiya whistled long and low. “How in the world did you get away with carrying on a relationship with someone assigned to you for training. Sarutobi would have had your hide.”

“It was the night before I left. It had been his birthday two days ago and I had forgotten, I’d been so wrapped up in … things.”

“Ah, the ever popular birthday-present-pity-fuck combination. Appreciated by sixteen year old male shinobi throughout all the great nations.”

She shrugged. “You know, at first, I tried to tell myself that I did it because he was such a lazy little son-of-a-bitch that he never even noticed Yoshino who was knocking herself out trying to get his attention. Figured I’d teach him that there are some things worth putting a little effort into. But I think, in reality, I did it because I knew I was leaving and I wanted somebody, anybody in the village, to remember me.”

“I remembered you,” he answered softly.

She put her forefinger under his chin and looked him in the eye. “You’re Jiraiya, you don’t play by the rules right? You’re … outside the scope of the village itself. I knew you’d remember me. And I’d remember you.”

“You’re turning melancholy again Hime. You owe me another question for that. Truth or Dare? How was it?”

Tsunade grinned. “Jiraiya, he was sixteen…. It …tickled.”

Jiraiya roared with laughter. “Tickled! Tickled! Oh, ouch, Tsunade, that’s just cold.”

“Well, he was very earnest…”

“Okay, here’s a tip, Hime, ‘tickle’ and ‘earnest’ aren’t exactly complimentary. Most men don’t even want to think about their female partners describing them in that way.”

“Well, he was sixteen, they’re always good for another go, anyway,” she grinned at him. “By the third or fourth time we were making some progress.”

\- - - - - - - - -

Shikamaru sat rooted to the floor. He wanted nothing more than to draw shadow upon shadow in on himself and to hide away in the darkness. He really, really regretted how hard he’d laughed at Kiba just a moment ago. Fate was a troublesome bitch.

Tickled! Oh, God, had she actually said tickled. When Kiba heard that he laughed so sharply it literally sounded like a bark. There was no way out but through. He stood up, shoved his hands in his pockets so hard he almost ripped the pockets out. “Man, I’m hungry, let’s go get something to eat.”

Chouji and Shino were quick to agree to this – they didn’t want to wait around for any more revelations, just in case. Kiba, however, couldn’t help himself. “Dunno, guys, just a minute ago he said he wasn’t hungry, said he wanted to stay and listen. Do you think he’s earnest now?”

“Shut up, Man, what a drag,” Shikamaru said, slinking toward the door and sticking to the shadows.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Jiraiya and Tsunade were still laughing on the couch when he announced his new “tickle-jutsu” attack. Tsunade shrieked with delight as they engaged in their mock battle. She tried to defend herself with a cushion but to no avail. She said she gave up, lying back against her end of the couch. Jiraiya stretched himself out over her. “Last question of the game, Tsunade. Truth or Dare? Why do you always tell me no?’

She knew she should toss it off as she always did and make a joke about it. But her heart was hammering in her chest at the nearness of him, the overwhelming presence of him. He really had no idea just how much she did want him, had always wanted him. “I think that…I’m afraid,” she answered honestly, looking up at him.

“Of me?” he asked leaning even closer to her with a wolfish grin. He paused when he realized how serious she was, held himself still above her.

“Yes…no…It’s just that I’m afraid….” She decided then and there to admit it to him, they were playing the game after all weren’t they? Truth or Dare? Maybe she should tell herself the truth. She lowered her gaze and turned away, unable to continue looking at him. She whispered, “It’s just that I’m afraid I won’t be Hime to you anymore. I’ll just be just…just some girl you slept with. I’m afraid I won’t be special anymore.”

“Tsunade,” he said, gently taking her chin in his hand and turning her face back to him. “Tsunade, how could you think that?” He dipped his face down to hers a little more. She looked so frightened, so…vulnerable. He was aching to kiss her. But he’d promised her earlier tonight that he wouldn’t steal a kiss. Then again, he reasoned, you can’t steal what’s offered. And usually by now she would have kicked him across the room so…

He brushed his lips against hers, felt her tense then relax as she placed her hands on his shoulders, not pushing him away, just resting them there. He stroked the tip of his tongue gently across her lips, She hesitated then parted them, her tongue seeking his. Jiraiya dipped gently into her mouth at first, tasting her. She circled her hands behind the back of his neck, pulling him closer still. His kiss became more forceful now, more insistent.

He left her mouth, kissing softly across her cheek, brushing her hair on one side back from her ear. “Tsunade, baka-chan, that’s what you’ve called me for years. But you’re the one who’s an idiot if you think there’s anything that would ever cause you to not be special to me.”

He stopped kissing her, to turn back to look in her eyes. They were liquid, deep and brown. He felt lost in them the way he had felt since he was in school with her. She cupped one hand to his cheek and said, “I don’t want to end up as another chapter in one of your books, you know?”

“I should be the one who’s worried,” he said, “from what I hear, you’re the love-em-and-leave-em type. I’m not sure I can trust you. Any trips out of town you’ve got planned I should know about?” 

She smiled and shook her head ‘no’. 

“That’s good,” he replied. “Marry me.”


	5. Anything For Love

**Chapter 5: Anything for Love**

“M-m-marry you?!” Tsunade whispered, holding his face between her hands. She smiled broadly at him. “I’ll bet you say that to all the girls.”

“You’re wrong, Hime. I have never asked another girl to marry me,” he smiled back at her, drinking in her eyes. He shifted so that he was stretched completely out over her on the couch, but holding himself propped on his elbows. He could feel her warm and soft beneath him.

“Bullshit, Jiraiya,” she laughed arching an eyebrow up at him. “You asked me when I was sixteen.”

“Yeah,” he grinned goofily at her. “And seventeen and eighteen…” He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers again. She didn’t tense at all this time, just let her hands drift to his shoulders, holding him lightly. This kiss wasn’t hard or insistent at all, but languid and sweet. It was as if she had all the time in the world to do nothing but kiss Jiraiya, to make up for… all the lost time.

When he finally stopped kissing her, he finished his sentence, “…but you weren’t listening. I said I have never asked another girl to marry me before.”

Tsunade’s heart was thudding in her chest. This was crazy, ridiculous, impossible. He couldn’t possibly mean it. He was nuzzling against her neck again, making it difficult for her to think of an argument, making it difficult for her to think coherently at all.

He whispered in her ear words warm, bordering on hot. “God, Tsunade, please say yes. For years I thought I’d lost you. I don’t ever want to lose you again. Stay with me, Hime, please.”

“Jiraiya..,” she wanted to push his head away from her so that she could think, but what he was doing to her neck, her ear felt so good right now. He let one hand trail down her body to her hip, then slipped it up, under her shirt to where her belt was knotted. His calloused palm felt marvelous against her skin there.

She knew what she was trying to think about. Marriage? To Jiraiya? Did he honestly mean it? Not that she was seriously considering it, but did he mean it? Still, even if he didn’t, it was a wonderfully sweet way to let her know that she would always be special to him.

“Jiraiya, you don’t have to marry me. We don’t have to get married…to…you know…”

Jiraiya had somehow kissed his way down to her collarbone, his tongue trailing lazily along it. He exhaled deeply and looked up at her. “No, no, Tsunade, I really think we should. If we get married it solves everything.”

“Solves what? What do you mean getting married solves everything,” she asked, giggling as he dipped his head back down to her chest, licking along the edge of her shirt, trying to push it back just a little bit farther with his tongue. “I cannot believe I'm just about to say yes to you and you’re saying wait.”

He nipped a little at her neck, enjoying how she squirmed under him when he did that. “Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying wait, I’m just saying we ought to get married, too. Think about it.”

She wanted to tell him that it was impossible to think about anything except how he was making her body feel right now. He’d changed direction with the hand under her shirt and had shifted it lower, sliding beneath the waistband of her hakama, curving around her butt and squeezing her. She sighed in contentment. “You’re making it awfully difficult to think, baka.”

“Baka, again, is it?” he asked slyly. “Well, let’s see, let me give you my analysis, Hokage-sama. First off, I’m afraid you’ll leave me for parts unknown again. If we go through the whole rigamarole of a wedding and a marriage then that’s less likely to happen, I’ll have the pressure of the village’s social expectations on my side. Second, you somehow have this insane notion that you will cease to be special to me. I don’t know how much more special-er I can make you than that whole forsaking-all-others business. But most importantly…”

He was looking at her, his grin nothing less than wicked at this moment because he knew she was probably going to hit him for this.

“What? What is it?” she demanded, infected by his mirth, grinning back at him above her.

“Well most importantly, Hime, I can’t write about it in my books.”

She laughed, “What?”

“You said it yourself, you don’t want to end up a chapter in one of my books. If you marry me, you can’t. You won’t. Guaranteed.”

“Why not?”

“My publisher would reject it. It would never see print. No one would buy it. Nobody ever wants to believe that two married people can have fantastic sex with each other. It just wouldn’t sell.”

She did hit him them, laughingly punching him with one hand, which he caught, pulling her arm up over her head, stretching it behind her on the arm of the couch. She swatted at him with her other hand which he captured just as easily, pulling it up to join its partner, encircling both her wrists in one large hand. Tsunade thought she'd try to kick him and eased her outside leg over, intending to lightly kick him in the back of the leg with her heel. Too late, she realized her strategic error. Now, instead of lying atop her on the couch, Jiraiya was nestled between her thighs.

"Looks like I've got you where I want you, Hime," he chuckled. "Now what was that you were saying about almost saying yes?"

Her breath was short and shallow. "Jiraiya, we're just stoned, you know..."

"Oh, no, Hime, we've been stoned before, and drunk, and shit-face-wasted-drunk-and-stoned at the same time, but we have never..." he dipped his face lower, "ever...," he slid his one hand out of her pants and raised himself up just enough so that he could slide it up to cup her left breast, "been in this situation before."

If she thought the earlier kiss was languid, for this one time stood still. There was no where else to be, nothing else to do, no other thing in the world to think about except Jiriaya and how he was making her feel right now. Vaguely she was aware that her arms were going numb. She wriggled them a bit, but he just cinched his grasp of her wrists tighter. The fingers of his hand over her breast had been busy, bunching up cloth, scratching back blouse and bra so that the swell of her breast was exposed, almost to the nipple. Fingertips danced lightly, only just barely pushing the cloth back to free her nipple from the lace edge of her bra, rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger.

Tsunade moaned then and forced herself to turn away back from his kiss. "Jiraiya...Jiraiya...not...stop..." The words didn't seem to be coming out in anything that resembled a sentence. Finally she managed to get it out. "Jiraiya, stop...I am not sleeping with you..."

He sighed heavily in resignation into her ear.

"...On Sarutobi's couch," she finished breathlessly, turning her face back to him, seeking him out for another smoldering kiss.

He released her hands, and pushed himself up on both his arms, "What's wrong with it, it was lucky enough for the old man..."

"Ewwwwww," she laughed and pushed him. He grabbed her waist and rolled off the couch to the floor pulling her with him. She straddled him at his hips, deliciously, marvelously aware of his arousal beneath her crotch. She put her hands on his shoulders and sat back looking at him.

"Looks like you've got me where I want you, now, Tsunade," he said with a sly note, both hands at her waistband, slipping down into her hakama again.

She leaned forward, sliding along him. He closed his eyes in bliss. "Not here, Baka, not in this room. You're going to have to take me somewhere... nice."

He lifted his head up and leaned toward her, warm tongue stroking just one lick across her exposed nipple. Tsunade quivered and thought she might have to reconsider her whole opposition to the location but he turned the corners of his mouth up into a smile and said "Let's go."

 ** _A/N:_** Title is from the Meatloaf song of the same name. 


	6. Sometimes When We Touch

**Chapter 6: Sometimes When We Touch**

"I think you made the innkeeper pretty angry, Jiraiya," she told him as they walked into the suite. "I don't think he's used to being awakened in the middle of the night by someone banging on the door like that."

He shut the door behind them and turned to her, "He's an innkeeper. People need rooms at night. When's he supposed to be awake? Don't worry, it's his largest suite, he's happy he's rented it for the weekend."

"It's the bridal suite. Jiraiya, how did you sign the register?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Shika-Tsume," he shrugged.

Her eyes grew round and she actually blushed. "I-I-I can't believe you did that. I cannot believe you did that."

He pulled her into a crushing embrace and kissed her feverishly. One hand cupped the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her silken hair. "Trust me, other than the name on the register, I'm gonna make you forget all about that little Nara boy."

She swayed into his kiss, his arms almost completely lifting her off her feet. She had both hands at the back of his head, grasping handfuls of his white hair. His body was insistent, crowding, directing them toward the bed. Tsunade felt the back of her legs brush up against it. When she sensed that she trembled, almost overcome by an electric sense of anticipation.

She pulled back from his kiss, eyes down, "I-I’m afraid I’m not as adventurous as your books, Jiraiya,” Tsunade half-giggled, half-stammered, feeling for all the world like a jittery schoolgirl again.

Jiraiya buried his face in her hair, his hands warm at her waist, beneath her green haori, gently tugging at the tie of her obi. She felt the knot loosen, belt slacken and heard it slip to the floor. “It’s okay, Hime,” he whispered huskily in her ear. “I always did like vanilla.”

She sighed and leaned her head to one side as he held her shoulders and trailed soft kisses along her neck. He brushed his hands across her shoulders, slipping the green silk coat gently off them to let it puddle on the floor with the belt. His warm hands cupped her shoulders then he trailed them around to her front, skimming over breasts, down to her waist, tugging at the hem and lifting the interfering garment up and off of her.

Tsunade's hand were busy as well, she undid his belt and his hands briefly left her as she slid his vest and shirt from his shoulders. Her hands were eager for his chest, feeling the warm skin through the mesh undershirt he wore. Placing her hands flat, she ran them over the expanse of his chest and around his back, loving the contrast between the strips of fabric and his skin.

Jiraiya took her chin and tipped her face up, meeting her lips with his own. Tsunade was tugging at the mesh shirt now, pulling it up and over his shoulders. Jiraiya raised his arms and shrugged the shirt over his head, tossing it aside. She marveled at his physique in the moonlight. How could there ever be a creation such as him? His chest and shoulders were broad, tapering to a narrow waist and hips. Her fingers danced everywhere over him, touching whipcord muscles, smooth skin and old scars. Jiraiya as he stood in front of her was all grace and power and complete impossibility. She scratched one thumb lightly over one of his nipples and heard his sharp inhale as he smiled and kissed her again.

Jiraiya reached around her back and with one snap deftly unhooked her bra, pulling it from her. Tsunade smirked to herself - the difference between men and boys. Boys fumbled. Men never did.

Now it was Jiraiya's turn to look at her in the soft light. He cupped her cheek then trailed his hand to rest flat between her breasts. “You’re gorgeous,” he whispered. He wrapped his right arm around her hips, pulling her body against his. He gently slid his left hand to cover one breast, rolling the nippled between his thumb and forefinger. He leaned down and kissed her softly at first, then more deeply.

Tsunade’s hands fluttered at his chest, at his shoulders, and finally circled around his neck, drawing herself up against him. He plundered her mouth with his tongue. He draped his left hand around her shoulders, tightened his grip at her hips and crushed her to him. Tsunade swayed into his embrace, stretching herself against the full length of his body. Her breasts were crushed beneath the warm skin of his chest. She felt the stiffness of his arousal as he ground against her.

Then his hands were sliding to meet at her waist, to her hips, tugging at the waist band of her hakama, slipping both the pants and her underwear down, over her hips and off her legs. He gently pushed her back onto the bed and rose up over her, knees between her own, nudging her legs apart with his own.

Leaning forward, she felt the heat of his erection brush against her. He twined his fingers of both hands with her own and held her arms to her sides, kissing from one shoulder down to her breast. This time he didn't lick at the nipple, he covered it with his mouth, engulfing her with his heat, swirling his tongue around the nipple he held captured in his teeth. Tsunade moaned and arched her back against him. He chuckled and licked his way over to her other breast drawing even harder on this nipple and eliciting more moans from her as she felt shivers of pleasure throughout her body.

He started kissing his way lower down her body, below each breast, at her navel, outlining each hipbone with his tongue. He released her hands and kissed the top of her mons, then pushed her thighs apart, gently kissing the inside of each one. Her fingers grabbed handfuls of his thick white hair as he slowly worked his way up her legs alternating kisses on her thighs. She shivered as he gently probed her entrance with his tongue. He laved between her folds, plundering her secrets.

Tsunade tensed her thighs, she clutched his hair even tighter, trying to draw him up to her. She could feel the tightness gathering inside her, knew she was close to release and now wanted nothing more desperately than to have his cock buried deep inside her so she could come around him.

Jiraiya was having none of this. He circled his arms underneath and around her thighs, holding them apart now fucking her vigorously with his tongue, firm strokes, in and out. Tsunade now wanted to buck her hips up, but the angle at which he held her thighs prevented her. Her heels kicked back uselessly for leverage against the sheets.

"Jiraiya," she pleaded, "Jiraiya, I want you in me."

For an answer, he sought her clit with the fingers of one hand while his tongue probed deeply into her one last time. He circled her clit roughly with his fingers and then pressed hard.

"Oh!" Tsunaded hissed, as the tension that had been collecting inside her released in spasms throughout her body. "Oh! Oh! Iku! Iku... Jiraiya, that was..." she was huffing, her breath sharp and raspy and she came.

He released her legs and raised himself up over her. "That was fun," he said, smiling down at her.

"Shit, Baka-chan, I wanted you inside me when I, when we..." she sounded almost sad.

"Oh, I can do that, Tsunade," he rumbled in that magnificent voice against her. She felt the head of his cock at her entrance, he slid across her easily she was so wet.

"Can't...can't a girl catch her breath?" Tsunade asked.

"No," he answered sincerely, pressing forward, the head of his cock just past her entrance. Jiraiya inhaled sharply as he slid into her tight sheath. Tsunade was embracing him but he disentangled her arms once again, drawing them above her head. He held her hands there and his other hand was holding one of her hips down.

"I want to hold you," she whispered throatily.

"Later," he murmured, pulling out slowly and watching her face as he eased back into her. Her eyes were half-closed and she was almost biting her bottom lip. It was so beautiful he did it again.

"Please, Baka-chan, Jiraiya-chan, I want to hold you, please, I need to hold you..."

He answered by kissing her gently, tongue just barely probing past her lips. He raised his hips pulling out and re-entering slowly yet again. Tsunade whimpered against him. He repeated this a few more times, savoring the image of her.

"Hold me," he then whispered huskily, releasing her hands. She grasped his hips, digging her nails into him. He pulled out and slammed into her this time and she cried out it felt so good. He set up a fierce rhythm, pounding into her over and over again, his balls slapping up against her. Tsunade met him thrust for thrust, raising herself to meet him in that same rhythm. Jiraiya felt his own tension building. He snaked one hand around the small of her back and crushed her tight against him, calling her name as he spasmed into her. Tsunade felt his cock swell and jerk inside her and she wrapped her legs tightly around him as she came again herself, clenching hard and sharp around Jiraiya.

After a few moments he shifted off of her, pulling her over to him. She lay nestled against him, boneless and content. They lay together, wrapped in each others arms, lightly dozing.

Jiraiya chuckled softly to himself, "That's two."

Tsunade was almost asleep. "Hmmm? What? That's two what?"

"Two times, Tsunade, two times. You said that you and Nara did it four times before you left."

"Jiraiiiiya," she whined, "How can I forget something you keep bringing up?" She snuggled closer against him. "Besides, I came twice, but we only did it once."

"Oh." He thought for a minute, then kissed the top of her head. "Slave driver."

She smiled against him.

"Tsunade?"

"Hmmmm?"

"I love you. I always have and I always will."

"I love you, too, Jiraiya. I always have. I just didn't know it. But I always will."

And Tsunade drifted off to sleep thinking that she had never felt so loved, or cherished, or protected her entire life.

**A/N:** Title is from song of the same name by Dan Hill. 


	7. A Little Bit More

**Chapter 7: A Little Bit More**

“And that makes two times, Tsunade,” Jiraiya called to her laughingly from the shower.

Tsunade smiled at his words as she wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror and looked at her reflection. Her damp hair clung to her and her face was flushed from more than the heat of the water, she glanced down and saw the flush extending across her décolletage as well and grinned. Sometimes it was downright embarrassing to be so fair-skinned.

“Yeah, okay baka, twice. Now will you quit keeping score?” she asked feigning annoyance. She checked around the bathroom and found the complimentary robes hanging on the door. Tsunade selected the smaller of the two and slipped into it, knotting the sash loosely around her waist. The thick looped cotton of the robe was warm and comfortable. Add to that the recent hot shower and great sex and Tsunade was feeling marvelously relaxed and content and… a bit hungry.

She stepped out of the sauna that the bathroom had become into the contrast of the cooler air of the bedroom. She picked up the services directory lying on the end table and began to leaf through it.

“Jiraiya, I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat,” she called to him.

The white-haired sannin stepped from the bathroom himself, having finished wrapping a towel around his waist. Tsunade couldn’t help but smile as she took a peek before he tucked the corner of the towel in. When Jiraiya caught her looking and winked at her, she stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to continue studying the directory.

Jiraiya walked over behind her and wrapped bare arms around her waist. He placed his chin on her shoulder, peering down at the same directory she was studying. He pouted, “Hime, you’re not naked.” His hands fumbled at the loose knot of her sash. “I wanted to see you gloriously naked standing in front of me when I stepped out of the shower. Do you know how often I’ve dreamed of that?” His voice purred into her ear.

Tsunade swatted at his hand and laughed. “Jiraiya we were just naked in the shower together not five minutes ago." She whined. "Now come on, I’m hungry. Let’s go downstairs and get breakfast.”

Jiraiya kissed her shoulder tenderly, lifting her damp hair out of the way to continue along the back of her neck. “Order room service,” he growled softly against her spine. Tsunade closed her eyes at the hot mouth on her back and dipped her chin forward, lowering her head so that he could continue lower. Jiraiya carefully draped her heavy damp hair forward over her right shoulder so that both of his hands could grasp the back of the collar of the robe. He pulled the neckline down slowly so that he could lave his tongue over her shoulder blades.

Breathing heavily now, Tsunade clutched the robe in front of her holding it tight so that he couldn’t pull it down any further. Fuck! Again? He couldn’t be serious. Could he? She felt his hands leave the collar of her robe and travel to her hips, pulling them back against him. She felt his rising erection grinding against her growing heat and swallowed hard. Oh, yes, he was serious.

“O-o-okay, room service it is,” she stuttered. “What do you want?”

“Hime, hime, don’t you know what I want by now?” Sable lips were kissing the curve of her left shoulder. Even though he had showered, he’d not yet shaved this morning and the stubble was deliciously scratchy against her skin.

“F-for breakfast,” Tsunade whispered, her hands unsteady as she tried to flip through the directory to find the room service menu.

“Whatever you order for breakfast is fine by me,” he rumbled against her and Tsunade realized that she loved the way his voice felt against her, they way his voice made her tremble.

“All right, then, let’s see,” she said, trying to focus on the menu and dial the phone at the same time. In a few seconds the connection was made and Tsunade was placing her order.

“Yes, I’d like to order ummmmm…” she began and then squeaked as Jiraiya brushed one hand across her ample chest and into the folds of her robe, nimble fingers finding and rolling a nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She couldn't help but moan despite her call to room service.

“No, no, the connection is fine. Sorry about that. Yes, ummmm….I’d like two teas and, ahhhh…two fish…things…whatever they are for breakfast and ummm…to room 105 please…” she told the person on the other end of the line, almost following it up with a moan into the receiver as Jiraiya slipped his other hand between the folds of her robe below the sash and slid one finger between her thighs, probing gently at her entrance.

Tsunade clumsily tried to replace the receiver on the phone, but failed twice. Finally, she slammed the two pieces together, uttering a ‘dammit’ in the process and turned to face him. “What do you think you’re doing?” she hissed.

He grinned mischieviously at his mate. “I’m taking you back to bed, Tsunade." He stalked closer, making her back up against a wall. " I’m going to fuck you raw, gonna make you scream... It’s time for number three.”

She managed to whisper “You are unbelievable!” before he plundered his mouth with her own. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once now, at her shoulder, tugging the offending robe down further, inside the robe, massaging a pert breast. He pulled her soft form against him, his swollen cock flush between them. The robe was hanging halfway on her beautifully bare torso and the warmth from his wonderfully sculpted body, the heat from his sex was burning her up.

She wriggled one hand between their bodies, sliding her thumb over the silken tip of his shaft. He inhaled sharply at the sudden contact. The slit at the head of his penis was weeping pre-cum, so she moistened her thumb with it and spread it all over the tip of his straining erection. Jiraiya was panting at the lavish attention that she was bestowing upon his most intimate of parts.

Tsunade pulled back from his kiss and looked up at him, arching an eyebrow skyward and smirking, taunting him, “Not yet you’re not.” Then slipping from his embrace, she sank to her knees, skimming her hands over his hips and thighs as she did so.

She looked up at him, gleam in her eyes and tugged the towel away. “Won’t be needing this, now.” Tsunade let the towel thump softly to the floor. She turned her attention back to Jiraiya’s swollen staff, tip of her tongue flicking gingerly across the slit, tasting the salty sweetness of him. He moaned in enraptured response. She took the head into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it, tasting him.

“God, Hime, that’s good...that feels so fucking good...” his voice was hoarse. Jiraiya’s hands hovered at her shoulders, trying to keep himself steady. She took about half of his length within her mouth, then pulled back slowly, letting her teeth graze against him. Jiraiya gripped faintly at her shoulders and with a sharp hiss inhaled.

She released his cock and tickled her tongue along the base at the sensitive juncture just in front of his balls, driving him insane. She lipped and kissed each one gently and sucked on each, feeling them heavy and full.

Tsunade ran her hands down the sides of his muscular thighs to tickle her fingers at the back of his knees. Jiraiya threaded his fingers through her golden hair and simply stood, feet planted slightly apart, absorbing the delicious sensations that ran roughshod over the sensitized flesh. He shivered slightly as she licked her way back up between his inner thighs. Tangling his fingers more tightly in her hair, he resisted the urge to pull her to him. He would have to let his sexy Hime control the pace of their encounter.

Tsunade had maneuvered herself back up to his throbbing cock. She suckled on the tip before taking him completely into her mouth. Jiraiya groaned loudly and clutched her head as she swallowed him and then pulled back, repeating, sometimes grazing her teeth along his length, sometimes sucking hard as it seemed that she would swallow him whole. “Tsunade...Tsunade...,” he moaned, “I’m gonna…”

Tsunade let him slip from her mouth, circled her hand around the base of his cock, making a firm circle and holding him tight, preventing him from coming too soon. “I said not yet," she giggled, licking her way back up his abdomen.

He growled and pulled her against him, his cock still wet between them. Jiraiya had one hand completely entangled in her hair now and he gently pulled her hair back, forcing her to look up at him.

The heat in his eyes was almost too much too bear, glittering and black and full of lust. He jerked the useless sash that was hanging almost to her hips, letting the robe fall open, then pushing that off her as well to join the towel on the floor. “You make me crazy...” he husked, nudging her back towards the bed. She collapsed against it, pulling him with her.

Tsunade lay on her back, legs slightly spread, looking up at him hungrily as he knelt between her knees. She reached to pull him down to her but, he smirked devilishly and said, “Not yet.” It aggravated her slightly that she was no longer the one in control.

"You know, Tsunade,” Both of his hands were massaging one of her thighs, then sliding down her leg, warm at her knee, then traveling to her ankle. “I’ve been wondering something for a long while now.” He grasped that ankle gently and straightened his torso, still on his knees, while lifting her foot to his shoulder.

The look in his eye was beyond mischievous and Tsunade stammered as she asked, “W-w-what is it you want to know?”

He didn’t answer at first as he stared down at her. Tsunade almost blushed as she realized that this position gave him as much of a view of her wet pussy as she had of his cock. He stroked one finger between her nether lips and she shivered again in anticipation. He turned his attention back to her foot at his shoulder, massaging it gently. He kissed the arch of her foot, licking it there, and then moved to kissing the ball of her foot.

He leaned forward, just a little, her foot still on his shoulder, pressing her outstretched leg back against her. “It’s been driving me crazy, ever since I saw you drop kick Orochimaru at the chin from a stock still standing position. I just had to know, just how limber are you?”

Lowering his body to her just a little more, pressing her leg back, she felt the stretch of muscles along the back of her thigh. He placed one hand above her shoulder on the bed and held her foot firmly against his own shoulder with his other hand. Tsunade smiled up at him and said breathily, “You mean, in the middle of that fight you were able to think about sex? With me?”

“Hey," he laughed. "I’m a guy, I can’t help it,” he answered honestly. His body was closer to hers now, she felt the head of his cock slide against her entrance. She tried to lower her own leg, needing to be able to wrap it around him but he held her firm, leaning down yet more. She tried to shift her hips and move her other leg, but he moved the hand at her shoulder down, coaxing her to straighten her leg back out against the bed.

“You know, Tsunade, I know you like vanilla but there’s vanilla..,” he breathed against her lips as he kissed her softly.

“And French vanilla…” another kiss, the head of his cock pressing against her wet pussy, sliding, almost inside her.

“Vanilla bean and vanilla custard…,” he thrust forward, almost half of his length inside of her. Dear God it was a good thing she was so limber, he was splitting her like a rail!

“Now, are you going to be a good girl and leave your legs where they are?”

She was so breathless that she couldn’t answer, just looked at him wide-eyed and nodded ‘yes’.

“Good,” he chuckled and placed both his hands above her shoulders. The motion caused him to almost slip from within her and she grabbed at his hips. He pulled back a little more then slammed his entire length into her.

“Oh god!” Tsunade called out. It was so exquisitely different. The position not only stretched her legs but changed the way his stroke felt inside her. Somehow it seemed as if he was penetrating her even deeper than before.

Jiraiya looked down at her. Pushed up like this on his arms, he could see her body beneath him. See her close her eyes and bite her bottom lip when he stroked into her, look down between her legs to see himself wet with her juices enter her again and again.

He could feel the heat pooling in his balls, like something coiling in on itself, tighter and tighter, waiting to be released. Grabbing her shoulders with his hands, straightening his arms and arching his back, he plunged into her as deeply as possible. His orgasm started in his balls, racing along his shaft and he groaned loudly as he spent himself inside her.

Tsunade felt his cock jerk and throb within her, the force of his thrusts and the sensation of hot fluid filling her sent her over the edge. She sobbed out his name as she clenched and tightened herself around him.

A few moments later she managed to open her eyes to find him looking down at her.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Watching you,” Jiraiya answered smiling back at her. “The view’s great.”

“Yeah, I figured that out. Err, can I take my leg down now?”

He smiled at her and nodded. She slid her foot off his shoulder and let her leg rest on the bed. Jiraiya relaxed his own arms as well, and it was marvelous to feel his warm body press against her. His silky white hair brushed her face as he kissed her over and over again.

Finally he shifted off of her and slid to her side, cushioning his head upon her breast. There was a knock at the door.

“Room service.”

They looked at each other and then both shouted at the door “Just leave it.”

Tsunade was snickering. “You know, we're really pissing off the staff at this hotel. First the registration last night, then the call this morning, and now the room service staff.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jiraiya mumbled sleepily against her. “We’ll have to find a different one for our honeymoon.”

She looked lovingly down at him, stroking his hair. “You’re still thinking about that, huh? I told you you didn’t have to.”

“I know,” he mumbled back at her, “but I still keep hoping you will.” He paused then added, “Hime?”

“Hmmmm?” was her reply as she twirled her fingers idly through his hair.

“If I go to sleep like this, are you still going to be here when I wake up?”

“Silly. Didn’t we just fall asleep last night and wasn’t I here when you woke up this morning?

“Yeah,” Jiraiya’s voice was thick and drowsy now. “That was nice.”

“Go to sleep, baka-chan.” She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll be here when you wake up."

 **A/N:** Chapter title is from the song by Dr. Hook.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Feelin' Way Too Damn Good**

Tsunade awoke on her side to the feel of something cool and wet tickling along her back. She hugged the pillow to her chest and giggled, "Jiraiiiiya..., what the hell are you doing?"

"Don't move, Tsunade, you'll make me mess up."

"Mess what up? Pervert!" She shivered a little as she felt the moist touch against her shoulder blade once again. "Is that your tongue?" she laughingly demanded, her face squinched up in confusion, trying to figure out what he was doing.

Tsunade started to turn over to face him, but a firm hand at her shoulder prevented her. "Stay still, Hime, I'm almost finished."

"Almost finished doing what!" Her voice spiked high, not in alarm, just insanely curious. What WAS that? His tongue? No, too cool. Water? Fuck, why? She looked around the room and spied his ever present set of scrolls and calligraphy brushes on the nightstand near the bed.

"Baka! Are you writing on me?" She chuckled, and tried to turn her head since he still had one hand at her shoulder and she couldn't roll over. From the corner of her eye, she could see the line of kanji trailing down one arm. How long had he been at this while she was asleep?

"Mmmmmhmmmm," was all he replied, since he held the tip of the brush between his lips, contemplating his next line of text.

Tsunade lay propped up on one elbow on her side, she draped her arm with the kanji on it over the pillow in front of her and started to read what she could down her limb.

"Are you...are you writing an Icha Icha chapter on me?"

"Mmmmmhmmmm," another mumbled reply - he was deep in thought at the moment.

Tsunade waited for more of an answer but when none was forthcoming she continued, "Why?"

He paused in his writing, and kissed the back of her neck, causing her to lean her head forward as he nuzzled against her. "Well, you won't let me write about you, so writing on you is the next best thing I could come up with."

"Again, why?" she giggled.

Jiraiya sighed, "Ah, Tsunade, Tsunade, I have two great passions in my life, you and my writing. Indulge my fantasies, please." He blew gently on her back, hurrying the drying of the ink.

"So you've fantasized about writing on my body?"

"Hell, I have fantasized about a lot more than just writing on your body," His voice was warm in her ear, but a frisson of delight shivered through her body.

"Well, I've indulged those fantasies, haven't I?"

"My dear hime, we've scratched the surface, yes, but there's a lot more we could do..."

"Read it to me."

"What?"

"What did you write on me? Read it to me. I can't see it all you know, only what's on this arm."

Jiraiya was searching her back for an un-inked spot of skin he could kiss. "I wrote what I have done with you and what I'm gonna do to you the rest of this weekend..." he answered somewhat distractedly as he searched out another creamy spot of her skin he could use for his canvas.

"So, read it to me," she shrugged nonchalantly. Spotting the breakfast cart she added, "over coffee." Reaching forward she pulled gently, rolling the little cart over closer to the bedside.

Tsunade realized that she must have slept very soundly for him to have brought the trolley in and to have written all over her like he had. Smirking to herself she acknowledged that you really could sleep better when you were completely...relaxed.

Starting to rise to a sitting position, she felt his firm hand holding her back, but then relaxing as he realized that if she sat up in the bed, he'd have access to the other side of her that she had been sleeping on when he began his writing.

Tsunade opened the carafe, praising the Zojirushi people for a container that had kept the coffee piping hot for...she glanced at the clock...eep...for hours. She really had slept soundly. Pungent aroma filled her nostrils as she savored her first sip of the rich Kona brew.

"I don't know how you can stand to drink that stuff," Jiraiya muttered, tracing his brush now across her left shoulder.

"What? Strong and hot, the same way I like my men?" she teased.

"Flatterer," he kissed the back of her neck once again. "No, I can understand the strong and hot part, but it's just so... bitter."

"Don't insult my coffee," she quipped back, "Now, are you going to read me what you've written so far?" With one hand she flicked her hair up and back, wondering if she dared look at herself in the mirror.

Jiraiya scowled just a bit as the blond tresses very faintly streaked the wet ink along her left side. Holding the brush in his teeth, he gently reached up and parted her hair, smoothing it forward over her shoulders. "I told you," he mumbled with the brush still held in his teeth, "be still."

Coffee cup cradled in both hands, Tsunade replied, "And I told you - read. Now read, baka."

Laying the brush back on the bedstand, he sighed and began reading to her. His deep voice was magical, rumbling in her ears, thrilling her all the way down to her toes, making her tremble as she heard in his own words, his own voice, just how accurately he'd recorded everything from the night before.

She arched her back as she felt his lips then, pressed warm and soft against her spine, trailing their way down her back. Her breath was quick and ragged and she managed to rasp out, "W-why are you stopping?" She clutched the hot cup in both hands and took a mouthful of the coffee, trying to clear her head. His voice was hypnotic.

"I need to stop reading for now...," he rumbled, reaching around her and placing a hand high on her thigh, fingers tickling between her legs. He started to pull her back toward his chest.

"The ink's not dry," she whispered, "you'll ruin your work, and the sheets..."

He shifted over and eased her onto her back so that he was leaning above her, "They can put the sheets on my bill," he growled. Then seeing she still had the coffee cup in her hand he took it from her and took a sip.

"Gah! Hime! How can you drink that stuff," he made a face.

"Well, how are you going to kiss me then? Any kisses you get this morning will be coffee-flavored ones."

Jiraiya leaned forward and did kiss her then, long and slow. "It's not so bad when it's sweetened," he told her thoughtfully. Holding his face a fraction above hers, he searched her eyes, then got a mischievous twinkle in his own. A grin spread over his face.

"Baka? What are you up to?"

"That's it! That's why I don't like the coffee. It needs sweetener." He dipped his finger into the warm brown elixer and gently stroked it across her lips then kissed her again. "Definitely better," he proclaimed.

Dipping his finger into the cup he once more he trailed a line of liquid past her chin and down her throat then proceeded to lick that off as well.

"Pervert," she whispered softly as her fingers toyed lazily with his white hair.

"Yeah, and you are loving every minute of it," Jiraiya lipped back against her skin. "So what does that make you?"

She started to answer but just then he swirled a coffee drenched finger around one nipple and proceeded to lick that off as well, tongue flicking playfully around the erect little bud. Her reply became simply a gasp of delight.

"Very, very much better when it's sweeter," he said.

"You know," he added thoughtfully, "I could keep writing with the coffee instead of the ink. Then I could lick it all off of you. It wouldn't be such a waste as to think of you just washing the ink off in the shower." To prove his point, he wrote "Love" and both their names on her chest and then, just as promised, traced his tongue back over the same characters. "What do you think?"

Tsunade's answered in a voice heavy with lust, "I think you should kiss me now."

He chuckled and with a soft 'clink' sat the cup back on the rolling cart and leaned over her, kissing her and covering her body with his own. Nestled between her thighs, his cock rigid once again, he slipped easily into her welcoming warmth.

Tsunade luxuriated in the feel of his body against hers, within hers once more. She savored each stroke, their motions languid and smooth. It felt great... marvelous... really... it did...and she was going absolutely nowhere with it.

Jiraiya paused, propping himself up on his forearms and studying her face, "Tsunade?"

"It feels good, baka, really, it does." She tucked a lock of white hair behind his ear. "It's okay. You finish."

Jiraiya gave her what looked like a cross between a pout and a scowl, not liking the sound of this one bit.

"Maybe what we need," he said, slipping his right arm beneath her leg, lifting it and changing his angle, "is a change in position."

God, he felt so good as he sank deeper in her. With his arm out to the side a bit, her leg draped over it he withdrew again and swiveled his hips as he entered her. Fuck, he was good at this!

But still...nothing building. Nothing tightening up inside her, coiling in until there'd be nothing to do but shatter outward. Nope. Nada.

"Tsunade," his voice was so tender and sweet, "Tsunade, tell me what you need."

Right now, she was thinking to herself that, men, god love them, could just never get it through their heads that sometimes it's the journey, not the destination. Must have something to do with being so goal oriented.

"I told you Jiraiya, it's fine. Really, you finish."

"Oh, I intend to finish what I start," he replied, "but with you." He would have added more, but a sound from down the hall caused her to jerk her head to the side, looking at the door.

"Just housekeeping knocking down the hall," he mumbled, then added, "sure hope I remembered to lock our door."

"What?!" she hissed. "You did lock the door, didn't you?"

"Of course I did," he chuckled, withdrawing and then re-entering her very, very slowly, toying with her, noting how her eyes were riveted on the door, her breath quickening. "That is, I think I did..." he purred into her ear.

"That would be something, wouldn't it?" he asked as he continued his slow rhythm against her. "What a sight if someone were to open that door right now..."

"Stop," she moaned and squirmed beneath him.

"Tsunade-chan! Do you have a Discovery Fantasy? Do you ever think about being caught in flagrante, in the very act...like now?" He slid his arm a little further away from her body, pushing her leg gently, opening her up to him even more.

"Don't...no...please stop," she moaned again, but her hands were tense, clutching him hard against her at his hips. As a matter of fact, every muscle in her body felt tense right now.

A voice called faintly from the hall "Where could she be?"

Tsunade bucked her hips up against him now. "Jiraiya!" she whispered hoarsely in a full blown panic. "Jiraiya, it's Shizune!"

"I think you're right," he said, enjoying this immensely. Tsunade was pale, her breath so rapid she was practically hyperventilating, cheeks flushed, eyes like saucers.

"She's probably worried sick about you, Hokage-sama. Probably brought that Inuzuka kid to track you since he would have been the last one she saw you with. Oh, yeah, and that Nara boy..."

"Noooo," Tsunade moaned, "Jiraiya, please...stop...don't say anymore,"

"Or maybe it's Izumo and Kotetsu, your little boytoy guards," he rocked his hips side to side, stiring something deep within her. "If they thought you were a KILF before, what are they going think if they come through that door now?"

She was beyond speech, making little mewling sounds of pleasure but managed to stammer out "K-k-k-ILF?"

"Kage-I'd-Like-to-Fuck," he rumbled against her, drawing hard on the 'ck' sound at the end of the word, feeling her writhe beneath him.

The idea of Izumo and Kotetsu or any of the ones he'd mentioned coming through the door and seeing her like this was tripping over in her head, some place dark and secret that she really didn't want to acknowledge. But it felt too damn good.

Jiraiya continued on, "Who's out there with Shizune? Any minute, any second, we'll find out. They're worried about you, you know. Nothing's going to keep them from checking on you, they're coming through that door any minute now, any second. I'll bet it's Nara. I'll bet Shizune's brought Shikamaru and you're going to fuel two generations of Nara wet-dreams, now."

"No...stop..." she pleaded, helpless, enthralled by his voice, by what he was saying.

"They're worried about their Hokage," he whispered and stretched his fingers to the bedstand, knocking his hitai-ate to the floor with a clatter.

A sharp rap at the door and Shizune's voice, full of concern, called out, "Lady Tsunade, are you in there? Are you okay?"

Tsunade wanted to call out to Shizune to tell her to wait but her eyes widened more than she thought possible as she saw where Jiraiya's hand was now.

"Nooooooooo," she cried out loudly.

"Lady Tsunade!" muffled shout from behind the door.

"Sorry, Hime," Jiraiya chuckled as he pushed the breakfast cart over with a loud BANG! The rattle of scattered cups and dishes echoed through the room as the door crashed open and Shizune, Izumo, Kotetsu, Kiba and Shikamaru tumbled in.

Tsunade came so hard she nearly blacked out.

Jiraiya was laughing, his face buried against her shoulder as he joined her.

Wide eyed, Shizune surveyed the scene and realized Tsunade was fine. Perverted, but fine. "Sorry," she squeaked as she pulled the guys back and slammed the door.

Some time later, after her breathing had returned to some semblance of normal, Tsunade looked over at Jiraiya. "You are such a pervert," she said as she stroked his face softly.

"Me? What about you? You were lovin' every minute of it."

She laughed and looked around the room, taking in the ink and coffee-stained sheets, the broken and scattered dishes. "We made quite a mess."

He yawned and stretched. "They can put it on my bill. It was worth every damned cent."

Tsunade shook her head. "They're never going to let us come back here...for our honeymoon."

Jiraiya smiled and kissed her. "I was hoping you'd say that."

\- The End -

 **A/N:** Feelin' Way Too Damn Good is a song by Nickelback.


End file.
